Second Thoughts
by OldHaZel
Summary: It's roughly a year since they parted at Rory's graduation: Rory writes from home and Logan is back working for his father at a new company. She's single, he's newly engaged, and back in touch.
1. Chapter 1

"Will you marry me?" he says on bent knee.

"YES!" she squeals, her emotions overwhelming her. Composing herself quickly she manages to get out some words in normal pitch again, "Yes, yes, of course."

When he stands she jumps into his arms. "I'll go get the champagne shall I?"

She nods excitedly "I'm going to call my Mother." She scurries around the room frantically.

He heads into the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck to sooth where she had grabbed him.

A while later after relaying everything to not only her mother but to almost everyone else she knows too, she puts the phone down and turns to see she is alone still. "Logan?" she goes into the kitchen. The champagne sits on the counter beside the fridge, it rests in a pool of its own condensation. "Logan?" wiping the puddle away she calls for him again.

"Sorry" he comes through the back door, throwing his phone onto the table.

"What were you doing out there?"

"I thought I heard Sadie barking."

She squints "Sadie's upstairs."

"I realised that. Must have been the neighbour's dog. Shall we?" he holds his hand out for her to pass him the bottle.

He pours them a glass and they each take a celebratory sip.

"To the future Mrs Tamsym Huntzberger"

"Mrs Tamsym Huntzberger" her gaze distances whilst she pictures it. "I thought you were never going to ask."

"Well your impatience alters your perception of time." He smiles and takes another sip, he watches her, lingering almost.

...

"Hello." Rory turns to look at Paris and rolls her eyes. "Hello?" she asks a final time then hangs up on the silence.

"So have you decided whether you are coming to my hospital's Christmas party yet?" she sits legs folded on the sofa opening her Chinese take out box, two text books spread open across her lap.

"I don't think I'm going to make it." She opens her food and falls back into the cushions.

"Why?" she barks. "Its on the first of the month; you don't go anywhere, you have no friends and you have no plans. I don't want to be stuck in a room full of old boring men and dull women for a whole evening. Is it so much to ask you come along to spare my sanity?"

"Paris you can't just talk to me the whole evening."

"It's not that I want to talk to you, just you being there severely decreases the chances of one of them approaching me to endlessly dribble about some freak disease that may or may not take hold of the whole of civilisation and then proceed to try and debate how to best treat it."

"That's how you're trying to convince me to go to this thing?"

"Is it because I said you're a no friends hermit?"

"I work from home, Paris; I don't have much reason or time to go out and make emotional bonds with people. Besides I'm perfectly content with my life."

"Whatever gets you through the day."

"Paris" she whines.

"Rory, please."

She sighs giving in, "Fine."

Paris smiles.

...

The same time next week Rory stands, one elbow leaning on the bar, watching two old bearded men in almost identical plaid suits bicker over something she wouldn't be able to pronounce.

Paris knocks into her and huffs throwing her purse down on the counter having just come back from the bathroom. "You could have come with me; I almost got cornered by Sally the chipper intern."

"Complain all you want, going to the bathroom with you is out of this verbal agreement."

"Next time I'll be sure to clarify." She takes a gulp of her drink.

Rory looks back to the men who are still going at it, "They really do that, don't they."

She nods lifelessly in response. "Just like I said. It's sad."

"I'm gonna go." She slides an arm into her jacket and pulls it so it sits right on her shoulders.

"What, now? You can't go yet; I have to stay until they do some crappy award or raffle or something."

"See, if you listened to people when they talk to you, you would know how to correctly finish that sentence."

"I'll listen when they have something interesting to say."

"Drink some more; it won't be so painful."

After worming her way through the crowd of tipsy doctors and nurses she finally is met with a lung full of the crisp night's air. Her thin jacket provides limited protection and eventually the cold sinks through to her pale skin. She folds her arms across her chest but it can only provide so much insulation. She watches her feet, placing them perfectly within the slab squares. Despite the bland party, if you could even call it a party, she appreciates Paris forcing her out. In the last few weeks especially, Paris has been the only person she has spoken to, unless she counts the girl who takes her take-out order over the phone. She has spent more time talking to that girl than she has her own mother. Her mood dips when she realises; maybe she should return one of her calls.

Her phone rings making her jump. She quickly scrambles for it "Hello" Hearing nothing, she places a finger into the opposite ear, "Hello?" Just as she moves the phone to hang up she hears a response.

"Rory" it's quiet.

"Um..yes." she stops walking.

"It's Logan"

"Oh" she draws a long silent breath.

There is a long pause, she picks up on his hesitance. Immediately she bites back the urge to snap at him and instead becomes concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Where are you?" he slurs.

"Have you been drinking?"

"No. Where are you?"

"What do you want, Logan?"

"I just told you. I want to know where you are."

"Logan" she sighs. "Im hanging up"

"No, please, don't. I just want to talk to you. I think I made a mistake, Rory."

She begins walking again. "Are you in trouble? Have you done something?"

"Yes"

There's silence on both ends for a while.

"I just want to talk to you."

"We are talking"

"No, properly. Come on, Ace."

Her next breath seems to cut the back of her throat. "Logan, you're drunk, the mistake you made was calling me." she hangs up on him. The rest of the walk home she debates whether or not she did the right thing cutting him off like that. Fighting back the guilt she concludes he isn't her problem anymore.

…

The next morning the memory of the phone call still haunts her: It mindlessly causes her to knock a coffee mug onto the tile floor, abruptly pulling her from her thoughts, and Paris from her hangover haze.

"Ahh, Rory" she massages her temples.

"Sorry" she starts to clean it up.

"I know what my problem is but you didn't even drink that much, whats up with you?"

"I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Whats bugging you?"

She hesitates for a moment, contemplating if she should confide in Paris. "Just a work thing. Do you want me to make you anything for breakfast?"

"No thanks. Im not ready to eat."

"Im going for a walk"

"Okay" she barely gets it out before the door closes behind Rory.

Its a lot warmer than last night, cold still, but it's bearable. It's not long before she is in the main part of town. Her intentions were those of her usual ones: the bookstore, cafe, music store, etc. Instead, today something steals her attention, it's only for a second, but it's enough to change her mind. She heads into the pet shop, the sights and smells overwhelm her senses straight away. She approaches the girl behind the counter, "Excuse me, you were advertising dogs in your window.."

"Oh, yes, the pups." Her face lights up. "I'll show you. We've sold so many already; they're ridiculously adorable." As they reach the deeper parts of the store the innocent barks of puppies become more distinguishable. "We've got a few breeds at the moment. Any idea what takes your fancy?"

Rory goes to shake her head, but before her brain can send the signal she meets the eye of a perfectly patched beagle behind the perspex, the only one left.

She gasps. "Look at this one. Can I pick it up?'

"Sure. That one is male."

"He's the cutest thing ever, and so small."

"He's got plenty of growing to do yet. So are you interested?"

"Ummm." She thinks about it, she really had no intention of buying a dog when she came in, but he is immediately more comforting that the cold words of books. The thought of putting him back down and leaving him all by himself crushes her. "I'll take him"

"Great" the girl jumps and claps her hands together.

As soon as she begins her way back home its occurs to her what she has done. Paris is never going to let her have a dog in the house. She continues anyway, she can't take him back now. He falls asleep on her arm somewhere along the way, she bought him a lead of course, but fears people won't see him on the ground. In fact, along with the lead, she bought everything for him that she could carry in one go. Bags dangle from the opposite arm and on top of it she balances a doggy bed full of numerous toys and miscellaneous objects. When she reaches her door she has no choice but to knock with her elbow, no available arms or hands leave her unable to reach into her pocket for keys. Paris can be heard shuffling to the other side of the door and she braces herself for impact. Paris' eyes silently roam over Rory's torso, taking in everything. Rory is firstly impressed by the fact she hasn't already slammed the door in her face.

"Hey, Paris." She smiles.

"What is that?"

"Its a dog" she makes her way in.

"Gilmore, tell me you did not just buy that thing. When I said you had no friends I didn't mean for you to go and befriend the animals. You're on a slippery slope."

"Don't refer to Duke as 'thing'." she puts the bed down and brushes everything aside to gently place Duke into it.

"Oh no, you've named it."

"Yes, because Im keeping it. I mean him."

"Fine, just keep it out of my room."

"Him"

"Whatever." She turns the Tv on. "You're phone has been ringing by the way. I shoved it under your mattress because the sound of it was starting to burn my soul."

"Are you implying that you have one?"

She rolls her eyes. "Its probably your Mom. When's the last time you spoke to her?"

"I speak to her all the time"

"Calling her when you know she is busy and then leaving her a voicemail is not talking to your Mother."

"Wha..I..ho..I can't help if she is a busy woman."

"Whatever, Gilmore.'

She swipes her forearm under her mattress and eventually pulls her phone out. One missed call from her Mother. Three from Logan. Two voicemails.

"Hey, Rory, its me. Logan. I, umm, I noticed in my call log I called you last night. And you picked up." He sounds uncomfortable. "I just wanted you to know, I don't…I don't recall anything I said. I don't know why I called you. I guess I had one too many. Umm, Goodbye." The woman introduces the next message. Its him again.

"Im sorry by the way. Thats why I was calling this morning, I don't think I said that in my last message, I wanted to apologise, and its been a while since Ive heard your voice, I guess part of me just wanted to hear you again. Im sorry if I bothered you. I hope you're okay."

It's the first time she's heard his voice too, his proper, sober, voice anyway. She understands where he's coming from, she hadn't realised how much she missed his voice. The sound of paws scraping along the wooden floor slowly draws her out from her trance. Duke explores the hallway of his new home, she gingerly makes her way over to him and picks him up, the small brown dog teddy still swings from his mouth. She places him on her bed and curls up around him. Watching him chew the teddy pups ear amuses her for a while, but her thoughts keep falling back to Logan. Should she return his call?

….

A few days later she and Duke are venturing on their first walk together. It takes them a good half an hour to get to the park with Duke stopping to sniff everything, but eventually they reach the leaf covered green. She sits on a bench, her long coat able to protect her from the cold wood, and puts Duke onto her lap. They sit for a while, Duke clearly amused by all the other dogs but to nervous to try to interact with any of them. Not long after, a German Shepherd free from its lead makes its way up to them and starts sniffing Rory legs and Duke. She twists away, unsure of what to make of her.

"Sadie! Come here." he shouts.

Her eyes freeze on her knees for a moment, then she looks over her shoulder. "Logan"

His mouth opens but nothing comes out. "Sadie!" he calls when he sees her still at Rory's legs.

"Its okay, she's not doing any harm." she reaches out and strokes her head.

"She's a good girl; just too curious." After a small silence he finally speaks "Would you mind if I sit?"

"Of course not. It's not my bench."

He sits. More silence.

"Wow. I don't think I've felt more awkward." He tries to laugh it off.

She laughs a little too. "Im sorry, it's me; I'm not sure how I should act after...you know."

"That phone call?"

"I meant last year, but now that you mention it."

"Sorry. Did you get my messages?"

"Yeah, both of them. Don't worry about that call; you hardly said anything, I promise." She gives him a little smile to reassure him when she sees him looking at her. Before he can say anything else she starts talking "How long have you two been together?"

He frowns "Who?"

"You and Sadie. How long have you had her?"

"Errm, about eight months I guess."

"Right. Cool." she's unsure of what else to say. "I best get him home; he's shaking." She stands up cradling Duke in folded arms.

He jumps to a stand next to her. "Oh, okay." he clips Sadie back onto her lead. "It was nice to see you then."

"Yeah" she nods, then turns away.

"Maybe we should do it again sometime." he yells behind her.

"Okay" she twists to meet his eye once more, then turns away leaving him to watch the back of her head. He watches her walk away and the memories are all still fresh: the smell of her hair, the texture of it, how it felt when it slid through his fingers, he can recall everything like it has only been a day, as apposed to a year.

…..

"Good morning, Sir."

"Morning, Jeremy." Jeremy, Logan's PA, skips behind him to keep up as he makes his way through the fifth floor lobby into his office. He swings his briefcase over the back of one of the padded chairs that sit in front of his desk and releases it.

"Is there anything you need me to do for you this morning?" he pants, breath taken by their pace.

"Go get us a cup of coffee, Jeremy, the good kind today, none of that crap from the kitchen."

"Right away"

He slides his index finger into his collar and tugs it away from his neck to let out a deeper breath. With the same hand he then reaches for the receiver on his office phone, only instead of picking it up his hand stills around it for a moment. 'Come on, Huntzberger' he peps himself up in his mind. With one more breath of confidence he punches in her number and closes his eyes waiting for her to pick up. His mind runs through all the thoughts that had kept him up last night: more confidence, less awkwardness. It seems to ring forever.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rory." he answers convincingly calm…he hopes.

"Logan," She smiles. "are you sober this time?"

"Yes" He laughs.

"So, what can I do you for?"

"I would like to offer to buy you dinner, or lunch, or something."

"Oh really?" she chews her cheek and contemplates the offer, "I think I'd like that."

"Is tomorrow good for you?"

"Yes, tomorrow is fine."

"Great! I'll message you the details when Ive got the reservation."

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye."

She hangs up the phone, places the pen back between her teeth and chews it. All of their conversations relaying in her head, 'Maybe we should do it again sometime', she thought he was saying it to be polite, the fact he's followed through makes her nervous. Duke barks at her feet and she scoops him into her lap.

"I hope its not like last time. You remember how awkward that was right, Duke?" she says, Duke barks as if to confirm it and she rubs his ear.

Later that night, Rory sits hunched over her desk typing furiously. She doesn't hear Paris open the front door but Duke's yelps of excitement as he runs from her room snatch her from her concentration.

"Rory!" her frustration bellows through the jar Duke left in her doorway.

"Duke! Leave Aunty Paris alone." she sighs. Entering the open space that combines the living room and kitchen of their apartment she giggles at Duke trying to get some attention from Paris.

"I told you not to call me that." she huffs.

"Is that dinner?" she slides onto one of the bar stools and reaches across the island counter to grab the take-out bag.

They eat in silence. Paris stands opposite Rory, both occasionally glancing up to briefly catch each other's eye.

"Aren't you going to ask me how my day was?" Paris chirps sarcastically through a mouthful.

"Do I ever?" she frowns, when she looks up she notices Rory's overall more chipper demeanour.

"What's up with you?"

She shrugs for response.

"Fine don't tell me." she rolls her eyes.

"There was an extra cookie in the bag I bought from the store this morning."

"Did you save me one?"

She shakes her head.

Paris' hand falls to the counter causing her fork the clatter against her plate. "Typical."

"Sorry" she flinches against the noise.

"No you're not" she mumbles. "Ive got some time off work next week. Im driving down to see Doyle."

"How is he?"

"He's good." thats all the information she offers.

The silence swallows the space around them again and Rory's thoughts drift back to Logan. Their conversations have been so brief, especially this morning's, it makes her consider the possibility that she had concocted the memories from imagination. The more she dwells; the more she doubts. Eventually she digs into her pocket and begins to scroll through her phone. Her call log confirms it; he _is_ back. Paris is watching her intently when she looks back up.

"Your Mom again?" her eyebrows shoot up, pushing the creases into her forehead.

She sighs to let Paris interpret it how she wants. Once she has finished scraping the last ounce of food from the bottom of the take-out box into her mouth, she throws it into the bin and takes the glass of water Paris poured for her when she heads to her room. "Goodnight"

"Night"

She fishes her phone out of her pyjama pocket again and places it on the bedside table before making her way over to her computer, she saves her document then closes it down. As she waits for the screen to flick to black her phone jingles to signal the arrival on email. She slides her legs under the covers and leans on an elbow whilst reading the message. Its Logan. She sends a short reply to confirm their meeting. For a while after, she lies in the dark while she mulls it all over. She's clueless. Totally clueless. She feels nervous, naive, unprepared; despite all the experience she has with him. She lies there for a while, she doesn't know how long for, but it does no good. Then, when she turns over and closes her eyes to sleep, it hits her. She wants him back. The fact she still loves him is something she has never denied, to herself at least, but she had never estimated it was still enough for her to want to be with him again. Suddenly her mind starts filling with questions so quickly she barely has time to finish each one. What does he want? Is he reaching out as friends? Are they starting from scratch? If they're starting again doesn't that contradict why they split? Why now after all this time? Is he still hurt? Does he still love her? Finally though, once she has exhausted herself, she drifts off from her conscious thoughts and instead her dreams take over with visions of him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sorry Im late: I got caught in dinner traffic." He slumps in the chair opposite her and takes a sip of his water.

"Only five minutes, its fine." She smiles. The longest five minutes ever. He looks at her over his glass while he drinks, their eyes interlocked. It's a strange atmosphere; a mixture of comfortable and awkward. He sets the cup down and smiles at her, it immediately tips the balance in the favour of comfortable. The relief runs warm though her body and she finally relaxes into the chair. She waits for him to speak first because the last thing she want to do is put her foot in it.

"So we're good, right?" he puts his weight onto the table, leaning on his forearms.

"That depends." she frowns, surprised by his opening statement.

"On what?"

"We haven't really had the chance to clear the air yet. It wasn't the most amicable of splits. Did you come here expecting us not to talk about it?"

"I guess I hoped: I don't like thinking about it.' he head sags.

"Neither do I, but we can't ignore that it happened. I think we should just get it out of the way. Start fresh, yes?" He makes no move to speak so she continues. "That night when you called.." she trails off giving him a chance to jump in, but he doesn't. "at first I was angry"

"Angry? At me?" he frowns now, clearly shocked.

"Yes" she scoffs, then takes a breath. "Did you think I wouldn't be?" she holds her tone steady.

"You're the one who..." his tone is soft too.

"I know." she cuts him off. "I turned down the engagement but you're the one who broke us up, Logan."

He nods, and after briefly looking down to his knuckles, he looks back up to her eyes.

"You're right. I'm sorry." it comes out a lot quieter than he intended. "I was so sure you would say yes…when you didn't" he pauses and she breaks contact by shifting her gaze down to where her fingers are awkwardly fiddling with her water glass. "..it hit me twice as hard." his sight dips to follow hers at her hands, then back up to her face. "I lashed out and gave you an ultimatum. I was stupid, Rory."

"You could have called." her eyes raise to his again.

"I've thought about what I wanted to say to you everyday since your graduation, and I didn't want to tell you over the phone. Besides, nothing had changed: we were both still moving. Then I got to San Francisco and…" he stops.

"And what?"

"Nothing" he shakes his head. "I want you to know I understand why you said no that day."

"I'll always regret hurting you that day, Logan." her eyes water slightly, she pushes the cutlery off the napkin and puts her hand on it in fear a tear escapes. "But I stand by my decision too." His arm stretches across the table to cup her hand and the unexpected physical contact immediately halts her tears. "I'm sorry" she sniffles.

"You don't owe me an apology. Do you think you you could forgive me for being an asshole?"

"It wouldn't be the first time would it" she laughs, making him laugh too. "But yes."

"Can we get that fresh start now?" She nods. "Im glad thats over with" he sighs.

"Me too" They both smile. "You seem different." she squints.

"Good?"

"Yeah. I don think you would have said all that before: you've evolved."

"This past year has felt like ten, thats a lot of time to mature and gain perspective."

She nods.

They don't say much for the next few minutes, thankfully though, it's not long before their food arrives. It's only then he removes his hand from hers, the cold air that brushes her heated skin makes her wish he hadn't. The food distracts them for a few moments but eventually, after deciding on what to say, and plucking up courage, he speaks.

"Are you seeing anyone at the moment?"

"No" He catches her on a mouthful. It's not the question that surprises her, it's the blunt manner in which he asked. "Are you?" She watches while he chews, anxiously waiting for him to swallow.

"No" he replies eventually.

"Oh"

"Are you surprised?"

"Just not sure what to say next." she shrugs.

He picks up his glass and takes another sip. "Maybe it was relief."

Her head tilts towards her shoulder. "Why are you back east?"

"I'm working back over here…for my dad."

"But" her jaw would hit the floor if it weren't for fear of revealing a mouth full of food.

"I know" he sighs. "Don't jump to conclusions." He holds his hand up slightly and she leans back into her chair while biting her tongue, awaiting his explanation. "My dad has just started a new company and he's asked me to help. We didn't speak for the first few months after I left, it was kinda nice actually." He returns her smile. "At first, of course I said no, but then my mom and my sister got involved. By ignoring him I was ignoring them too."

"I still can't believe you went of it." she shakes her head.

"Truth be told: it was a good offer. It was better than what I moved for."

"Are you writing for him?" she leans on the table subconsciously moving closer to him.

"No!" he pulls a crazy face.

"Just checking" she giggles. "You were never really committed to it if I remember correctly."

He hums shortly while quickly reminiscing, "I miss school. I never thought I would, I always assumed we would all leave and it would keep getting better."

"It's not been as easy as I thought it would be either."

"I don't need to ask if you're still writing." she smiles at him. "I know you'll always be writing, but are you writing professionally?"

"Yes" she beams proudly. "Its not where I thought I'd be but I love it."

"What is it?"

"I write reviews for our local newspaper: books, movies, music, that sort of stuff."

"That sounds perfect for you."

"Yeah, everything else seems to have fallen into place." Everything other than them. "I moved out of the city and now live right on the edge of the suburbs; I share an apartment with Paris." His eyes widen. "Its not as and as it seems." she laughs at his reaction.

"Is she still with Doyle?"

"Yep"

"Wow" he looks impressed. "Im glad for them."

"Me too, he makes her happy."

He chokes a little on his water "How can you tell?"

Her mouth creates an O shape before she laughs. "Believe me, you can tell." She watches him laugh and its like no time has passed at all; it could easily be two years ago. He reaches into the pocket within his suit jacket and checks his phone, the smile lingers on his face.

A while later, after dessert of course, he walks her out to the road while they wait for her taxi.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drop you off? It doesn't feel right." he reaches out to her and pulls either side of her coat closer across her body.

She takes his hint and starts to do the buttons up so it will protect her against the cool breeze. "It's fine, I promise." she slips her hands into her pockets to keep them warm. Her cab pulls up and she takes a step towards it. Her breath hitches when it dawns on her that they've made no clarification of where they go from here…or what the purpose of their meeting today was for. He opens the door for her and she thanks him while she climbs in. Once she clips the seatbelt in she straightens up and sees him crouching down in the doorway.

"Do you want me to call you?" he looks scared of what her answer might be.

She smiles sweetly and nods. "Thank you for tonight, I'm glad you're a drunk dialer."

"So am I." he puts a hand on her knee. "It was really nice to see you again."

"You too."

He stands, closes the door, takes a step back as the car pulls away and watches as she disappears amongst the other vehicles. He makes his way back to his car, closes the door and puts the heat on. Rummaging in his jacket he pulls his phone out when it vibrates again. Two unread messages.

'_Hey bbe, ur late, is everything alright? xxx'_

'_Left ur dinner in the oven. Love you. xxx'_

He sighs and places it back into his jacket before pulling off.

Twenty-five minutes later he enters the dark hallway of his house, the door clicks back into the lock and Sadie bolts around the corner, paws scraping on the wooden floor. He quickly crouches by her side and kisses her snout: he knows that giving her some attention will stop her from barking. He stands back up, kicks his shoes off and gently nudges Sadie in the direction of the living room; she silently retreats back into her favourite sleeping place: sandwiched between the armchair and the radiator. The light breaking through the glass in the doorway is enough to guide him to their bedroom door; he quietly enters and slips through the gap, keeping the door close to him as no to let any more light flood the room. He then removes his shirt and trousers at the foot of the bed; the whole time his eyes are fixed on the shape her body creates beneath the quilt. When he climbs into the sheets next to her he stays on his back and lets out a quick deep breath. She turns over so she is facing him; he can see her looking at him through the corner of his eye.

"Hey" she pokes him in his side playfully and he flinches.

"Hey" he laughs at the sensation.

"You know I worry when you don't message me." Its too dark for him to clearly make out her face but he knows her expression would be concerned.

"I know, Im sorry." When she shuffles closer to him he wraps his arm around her knowing she will want to rest her head on his chest. She pokes him again and he grabs her hand, holding it, to stop her.

"I hope you ate. I kept your dinner in case you didn't."

"I ate"

"Where were you?" her head tilts to look at his face.

"I had dinner with someone." his eyes stay on the ceiling.

She sighs and her head relaxes. "You're not going to start spending all your time with business associates now are you. I know its a new branch and all but-"

"Tam" he soothes her. "Stop getting all worked up."

"It's just I didn't move over here for you to be working all the time."

He runs his hand up and down her arm and kisses the top of her head. "Get some sleep" he whispers.

…..

Rory throws her keys into the bowl by the entrance and kicks the door shut while she works on the buttons of her coat.

"Be louder" Paris comes out of the dark hallway carrying an empty glass.

"You aren't sleeping" she puts her coat on the hook and falls into the sofa.

"You didn't know that."

"Can you get me some chips" she picks up the remote and starts flicking through the channels.

Paris rolls her eyes but opens the cupboards and picks out a packet anyway. "Where were you tonight?" she throws the packet at her before dropping into the sofa too.

Using the chip she's chewing as an excuse to delay her answer, she thinks about it for a second. "I had dinner" she swallows.

"Who with?" she stares at the Tv with folded arms.

"I was by myself." she continues eating.

"By yourself?" her gaze snaps to Rory in disbelief.

"Yes"

"Alone?"

"_Yes_" she sighs.

"Okay"

"You were the one saying I never get out."

"I didn't think you were actually listening."

"Well, I took your advice."

"I wasn't advising; I was criticising."

"Yes Paris, I know." They sit in silence consumed by the Tv. After a while Rory mutes the Tv and shifts so she is facing more towards Paris, "You're a hypocrite." she sparkles in light of the revelation.

"Excuse you?" she frowns.

"You spend just as much time working as I do."

"At least I work around people."

"People whom you can't stand. Give me one name of a colleague you are friends with."

She says nothing, only glances over for a second or two. "I have never liked people; I doubt I ever will."

"And yet you're a doctor."

"You're right" she shrugs.

Her response surprises Rory so much she doesn't respond, she just resumes her prior position on the sofa.

"Are you going to put the sound on or what?" she snaps.

"Sorry" she mumbles and then unmutes the Tv relieved for the sound to bury the silence.


	3. Chapter 3

It's Sunday evening. Paris is working, much to Rory's delight; it allows her to turn up the speaker volume as high as she likes, while also minding not to disturb the neighbours. Half way through track eight, 'Heartache Hangover', she's thankful to be distracted by her phone calling for her attention. She opens up her emails, surprised to see her latest bit of mail is from Logan.

'_Hey, I know I said I'd call you, but I hoped an Email would be just as good…? Anyways, I'd like to see you again sometime if you're up for it too. Sorry its taken a few days to get back in touch. x'_

She sighs as a smiles cracks her lips.

'_Email is fine, however, I like to think our dinner was worth more than three little sentences surely! But yes, I'd like to see you again. What, might I ask, has kept you busy these past days? x'_

"_I will have you know it took me at least half an hour to compose that message. I feel like a teenager texting the cutest girl in school. I've been hard at work: my dad's constantly breathing down my neck at the moment. All work and no play. x'_

His compliment has her blushing; its like her body is irrelevant to their past and reacts as if this, or him, is all brand new to her.

'_That must be bringing forth a lot of flashbacks for you. I've got to go to a show to review a new band, would you like to come with me?'_

While she waits for a reply she gets lost back into the CD. She jots down notes in her 'I [heart] New York' pad until the disc eventually ends. Her phone beeps.

'_**Im about to leave. Will you get some food?' **_It's just Paris.

She checks the time to see it nearing six o'clock, and also looks for anything new in her inbox, but it's empty. To distract herself she heads out to get their dinner rather than order it in and wait. Its colder outside now; like the world couldn't be bothered to warm up at all today. Not realising it would be this cold, she heads for the Thai place, despite Paris' previous complaints about it, because it's the closest. Not ten minutes pass before she's in the take-out shop and waiting for her order. The heat from the kitchen has her sweating in her coat, she pulls her gloves off and retrieves her phone to text Paris that she's getting Thai. Upon remembering her ongoing conversation she flicks to her home screen and impatiently pokes the screen when seeing the notification for a new email.

'_Of course I'll come. I'll go anywhere with you. x'_

She giggles, suddenly feeling like a teenager too. The middle-aged man sitting by the window glances in her direction and her face relaxes feeling a little embarrassed.

"89" The small woman places the white bag on the counter. She double checks her ticket before taking the bag and thanking her. Half way home her phone rings. She ignores it the first time knowing it will be Paris calling to complain about her food choice, but when she calls the second time she decides to face the music. She inhales a breath and places the phone to her ear, but before she can speak she's beaten to it.

"Alas, she's alive!" her mother cries down the phone. "Here I was thinking you'd been swallowed by the couch or something. I've had visions of you keeled over choking on a Jolly Rancher."

"Okay, Mom, I get it." she sighs.

"I've missed you, Kid."

"I'm sorry. I sent you emails with cute attachments though."

"Emails" she scoffs. "Emails are how you brush off that weird couple who you meet on vacation that don't know they're weird and can't take the hint that you think they're weird. I wish my mom had email. "

"Do you want me to apologise again?"

"I can forget everything if you say you're coming back for Christmas."

"Mom, of course Im coming back."

"Good because Ive already bought half of Doose's Market and Luke is yelling at me."

"It's too much food, nobody is going to eat all that food, it's ridiculous." Luke shouts in the background.

"Now he's agitated." she mumbles into the receiver.

"Is he throwing his arms around?"

"Yep." She turns around shouts in his direction. "Honey, if you make me some coffee that will calm you down."

"It will _not" _ his head sticks around the kitchen archway.

She stares at him for a moment "Will you make me some anyway?" He rolls his eyes and disappears. "Thank you." she smiles.

"We've eaten in front of that man for two decades and he still thinks there is too much food?" she enters the dark hallway and takes the stairs to the first floor.

"Im only with him for his cooking skills, not his brains."

"Is that right?" he asks before he shoves the cup under her nose and she takes it.

"Do we have any cookies?" she frowns.

"Yes" he sits beside her and flicks the channel over. "You could have one if you get off your ass."

"Mom, Ive got to go." she fights to get her key in the door.

Paris opens the door, "There you are. Did you walk all the way to Thailand?" she takes the bag from Rory and walks back into the apartment, letting the door swing back and hit Rory's shoulder.

"Okay I'll speak to you soon."

"Bye." She removes her coat, hangs it up and sits beside Paris on the sofa, who passes her a take-out container. "Geez, slow down" she gapes in astonishment at Paris averaging three mouthfuls in every ten seconds.

"I haven't eaten all day. This is why I taught you the Heimlich maneuver."

"What makes you think I'd save you?"

"I leave Friday morning." she ignores her.

"Okay"

"For two weeks"

"Seriously, Paris, I'm an adult; Im competent to be alone. Out of the two of us you're the weird one."

"Are you referring to my inability to effectively interact with people because thats not weird, it's smart; have you seen the species lately? And I was only going to recommend that you consider that the take-out places will be closed around Christmas. "

"I'll be at my moms"

"You'd be better off starving"

"Luke will be cooking." she nods slightly in agreement.

"Wait, does that mean you have talked to her?"

"Yep, just now."

"About time"

Rory rolls her eyes. "It was no big deal." Her phone vibrates in her jeans.

'_I'll pick you up at 6 o'clock, sound good?x" _

'_Perfect x' she keeps the phone screen discreetly tilted away from Paris. _

…..

"I'll let you know how late I'll be later." He rests his elbow on the window while he waits for Rory to come down.

"Okay, but don't work too hard, you've been distracted lately. I can tell somethings off. Don't let your father get to you."

He pauses. "I'll take it easy." he eyes the door to Rory's building.

"Your mom called again this afternoon; she wants to know what our plans are for Christmas."

"Just tell her we'll go for dinner"

"Logan" she whines.

"What?"

"I told you my mom asked us to spend this year with her."

"Well lets do that then." he bites.

"There is no need to be sharp, Logan, I'm just trying to figure everything out. I don't want to wait another week for you to decide and then have to book the tickets last minute."

"We should stay here then. There, I've decided."

He can hear her heavy breaths on the other end. It a few seconds before she replies, "What is up with you?"

The building door opens and Rory appears, she smiles towards him as she makes her way down the path and to the car. She waits at the kerb for the cars to clear so she can cross the road.

"Im not continuing this over the phone, lets talk tomorrow." she says through a clenched jaw.

"Lets" He's relieved when she cuts the line just as the passenger door opens and Rory climbs in.

"You're not coming to my door anymore then?" she teases him.

He shakes his head, smiling, "Or your window."

She smiles back at him, their eyes seem stuck on each others' when they recall what else happened _that_ night. She breaks the connection when her face starts to flush.

"Have you had dinner?" he starts the car and pulls out onto the road.

"I had a pop tart."

"I should probably feed you then."

"Probably" she nods. "You're not going to fit into the indie crowd like this." she picks at the sleeve of his dress shirt.

"I had to come straight from work, don't make fun." he pouts.

When they stop at a red light she leans over into his side of the car, "I can help." she pulls his tie loose, consequently tugging him closer to herself, then throws the item on the back seat, and releases a few buttons.

"Better?" he askes, looking into her eyes. A car horn sounds from behind and he jumps, realising the light has changed he quickly moves. Rory laughs at him and settles back into her seat.

.


	4. Chapter 4

They stop at a casual restaurant along the way; a waiter guides them to a table by the window and they glance over the menu.

"I'll have the steak sandwich and a coffee please." He folds the menu and hands it back. They both eye Rory as she stares at the laminate paper, biting her lip with indecisiveness.

"Can I have the cheeseburger with bacon, and fries instead of salad?"

"Sure" he nods and pencils it down. "And beverage?"

"Hmm" she bites her lip again, "I'll try the banana milkshake please."

"Okay, I'll be right back with your drinks."

They thank him simultaneously and he walks away. Rory's eyes drift to the window and up towards the sky which is morphing into an evening orange. Out the corner of her eye she sees him flex his chest forward in effort to stretch out his back and her eyes drift over to observe him better. He rests back into the chair with a satisfied sigh and her eyes roam his shirt again.

"Stop" he laughs. "Are you worried the indie hipsters will run me out the venue." He fiddles with his shirt collar and she laughs. "I left my converse back in 2005, sorry."

"Hey!" she gently nudges his shin with her foot which is enclosed with the mentioned shoe. " I was just thinking about how you're more relaxed when you're dressed casual."

"Is that a sly way of calling me uptight?"

"Here you go" the waiter returns with their drinks. Rory greedily clasps her mouth on the straw and sips until her cheeks are completely concave; she makes a very approving sound and takes another mouthful. She looks across the table and watches him stir his coffee.

"No, it wasn't, but I do remember you playing as hard as you worked. Maybe more so, actually."

"Not so much these days."

"Oh" she's surprised. "How come?"

He sips from his coffee and shrugs. "What are you doing the weekend?" he changes the subject.

Their food is brought and placed before them; she picks up the red bottle and squeezes it over the fries.

"I've got to write tonight's review and then finish up my other reviews. We're doing a last minute gift guide so I've had to read, watch and listen to a lot of stuff. Then once I've done that, I'm packing and heading to my mom's."

"You're spending Christmas at home?"

"Mhmm" she nods while her mouth is full. "What are your plans?"

"I'm not sure yet" he answers honestly. "I've got a few things to sort out. So you aren't spending the day with Paris?"

"No, are you kidding me? There is no way I'd get to sit, eat junk and watch movies all day. She left this morning to be with Doyle."

Thirty minutes later he's finishing his last bite and wipes the sides of his mouth with his napkin.

"We should leave now" he checks his watch.

"One second" she scrapes her last fry around the plate to get the remaining slither of sauce and drops it into her mouth. He rises from the chair, steps over to her side, picks her jacket up and holds it out for her to slip her arms into. "You owe me dessert though." They walk down the street and every now and again they bump shoulders. It takes about three minutes for them to get to the venue. Once inside they find a table and settle around it.

"It's quiet" he looks around at the space crowd.

"They're very up and coming. And we're unfashionably on time."

"I'll go get us something to drink" he slings his jacket over the table and heads towards to bar they passed in the lobby. Rory looks around, the room would probably fit 200, she guesses there are roughly half of that are here, most of them are standing close to the stage, waiting. She reaches up and pulls her hair to the side and off her neck; it's already getting stuffy. From her bag she grabs her notepad and starts making a few notes. Logan eventually returns and she gratefully sips from the soda with dry lips.

"I think they're about to start" he nods in the direction of the stage; the men who were sorting out wires leave the stage. Just then the room dims slightly and a light focuses centre stage as the band make their way on.

"Did I ask if they're supposed to be any good?"

"They're not terrible" she smiles.

The crowd cheers and dances as they to play. At least a hundred more must have arrived; they are deep in the crowd which now stretches to the back wall.

Half way through the set there is a quick break. Logan burrows through the wall of people to get more drinks and Rory fans herself with the coaster while she waits. When he returns he sees her talking to a group of men. He frowns. The atmosphere is a thick cloud of sweat and hot oxygen. With one hand he releases another button on his shirt and with the other takes gulps from an icy water.

"What was that?" he questions.

"Im getting some opinions" she talks over her notepad. "And what about you? Do you think they're good?"

"I'm enjoying my evening"

"Me too" she smiles. When she dabs her forehead with her wrist he gives her a bottle of water.

She takes it from him, slightly disappointed, "Water?"

"You're going to be dehydrated."

The crowd cheer as the band comes back to stage. Rory dances where she stands and he watches her, both of them lost in the moment.

When its over they hastily exit onto the street; both sigh when the air cools their heated skin.

"Do you want to get anything to eat or some coffee?" his arm casually holds her waist.

"No, I'll make some at home." she shivers.

Outside her building they sit in his car. She's not sure if she should ask, not sure if he wants her to ask. He sits quietly.

Hesitantly she turns to him. "Do you want to come in?"

He remains facing forward but his eyes dart towards her then downwards. His hesitation makes her nervous and she fiddles with a button on her coat. For a few seconds his mouth hands open before he speaks.

"Okay"

They get out the car and follow the gravel pathway. The short trip is silent but not awkward. She opens the door and flicks the light.

"It's smaller than I expected." he steps over the threshold and scans the room. The kitchen is at the back behind the living room, all open plan, and the corridor that leads to their rooms is on the right.

"It's cosy. As long as there is room for me _and_ Paris on the couch we're happy." Her back is to him while she removes her coat and hangs is up. When she turns around he is right in front of her. She doesn't recall him being this close. She looks into his eyes as he does to her. Unable to bare it any longer she pushes into the small gap left between them and places her lips to his. To her relief he kisses her back. When he feels her tug the zip on his coat he pulls his head away and holds her by the shoulders.

"What?" she looks at him surprised. He sighs and takes a step back. "Logan?"

"I have to go" he brushes both hands through his hair.

"Loga-"

"I'm sorry" he opens the door and heads for the stairs. "It's Sadie…I have to let her out." he doesn't turn back while he explains. Before she can say anything he's gone. From the window she watches him almost run to his car. Along the way he pulls his zip back up to his neck. The whole journey home he can't focus between the road and his thoughts. He feels sick and guilty. He mentally scalds himself; of course that was going to happen at some point.

...

Hearing his car pull up Tamsym meets him in the hallway. He tries to be as normal as possible, but he can't meet her eye.

"You're earlier then I expected." She stands across the room with her arms folded.

"Im sorry." He throws his coat toward the hook.

"You don't have to apologise for being early." she frowns.

"I meant earlier. I'm sorry for how I was on the phone, I wasn't fair to you." He makes his way over to her. By slowly running his hands up and down her upper arms he relaxes her, like always, and her arms untangle and drop to her side.

"Thank you." She moves closer to him and inhales deeply though her nose.

"I haven't had a drink"

"Just checking"

"Don't you trust me?"

"No. It's only been a few weeks since you slipped, remember?" He nods. "I still don't understand" she sighs. "I checked it was non-alcoholic champagne, so you obviously went out on purpose and-" He pulls her into a hug to quiet her.

"Do you want me to apologise again?"

"It won't make much difference now, will it?" He releases her and she heads for the stairs. "Are you coming to bed?"

"In a minute" He checks his phone; one new email from Rory. He locks his phone without looking at it and climbs the stairs.


End file.
